my mother and i swim in circles of music
i think it’s the deepest language in which we know each other
she taught me how my fingers should graze across piano keys
and how my breath traveled through my body to sing sweet songs,
i learned how coarse calluses worked to bend against ringing strings
so many lessons blooming and blossoming into who i am today
she nimbly flies across black and white notes,
while i traverse the halls, a new aria humming through our walls
we listen to broadway soundtracks together as we drive,
she laughs at lyrics we’ve heard hundreds of times and i try to harmonize
she makes jokes about singers and we talk about her time in conservatories
i bother her with questions on church modes and she smiles at me
my mother and i swim in circles of friendship
i think it’s the deepest method in which we know each other
she is my first best friend, the first and longest i have ever had
she knows my fears and dreams and wishes, more than i know them myself
she knows the flicker in my eyes, the dips in my voice, more than i know them myself
so many memories blooming and blossoming into who i am today
i cannot keep secrets from her, even when i know they’re in my favor-
like the time i tore a poster from england, and she taped it back together for me
she knows the name of every friend i have ever had and their life story
every trivial moment that connects itself through me
we watch reruns of shows we’ve seen hundreds of times, staying up until midnight
she shushes me as i quote my favorite lines and make quips at characters
my mother and i swim in circles of our culture
i think it’s the deepest whisper in which we know each other
foreign tongues roll through her, like water from a ravine
i hear her speak to my grandmother, and i try to mimic the fluidity of her words
i watch her hang red decorations for luck, avoiding groups of four, eating mooncakes
so many stories blooming and blossoming into who i am today
she grew up in latin america, volcanoes rumbling inside and around her
and i miss beaches i have never been to, despite being born in water
she speaks perfect spanish with strangers, a sense of comfort because
she always feels like home to everyone
i learned how to roll my tongue, a subtle flip in horchata and longer in perro
i recall mountains painted across the sky, and together we breathe in and out
my mother and i swim in circles of storms
i think it’s the deepest fire in which we know each other
i feel like flames convulse within me, and threaten to burn me alive
my mother is a soothing spring rain that quenches a silent fury
she is a wistful candle that flickers into coolness
so many heartaches blooming and blossoming into who i am today
sometimes i scorch everything in sight, and my mother whirls through
our voices become crackles of lightning, threatening to strike
we crash against one another, waves in a tumultuous monsoon
our regard turns into our deepest flaws and aching
but without fail, we extinguish each other
collapsing into steady ripples and serene winds
my mother and i swim in circles of patience
i think it’s the deepest virtue in which we know each other
she has taught hundreds and hundreds of students
i have watched some graduate and leave and come back to her
i watch a younger generation learn scales and what a pedal is
so many legacies blooming and blossoming into who i am today
i learned my diligence from her, in most things i do
the stroke of my handwritten notes, my yearning for knowledge
my stubborn love for writing stories that will take decades to complete
but she takes my hand, bearing endurance into me
as i find the kindness within me to be a healer to my friends,
to accept the things i cannot change and the things i wish i could
my mother and i swim in circles of perseverance
i think it’s the deepest emotion in which we know each other
every fiber of her being expresses it towards me
i hold her hand and i think of what it would be like to be without her
but it’s too painful to even consider
so many moments blooming and blossoming into who i am today
we drive on never ending roads, unyielding until darkness prevails
we shop at an asian market, stopping for bubble tea and popcorn chicken on the way
we spend hours racing through bookshelves, scanning for the perfect novel
we gesture to each other, my breaths intertwined with breaks in her playing
we prattle continuously, i have told her so much that her ears must bleed
and i think that most of all, we swim in circles of love
- maddy manning-bi
Comments