Dear Asian Youth,
It’s six letters with a double L
Ballet, allure, pollen, hollow - small
We’re on an outdoor stage
The sunflowers are in full bloom
My skin tone doesn’t match the slippers
Light places a sandpaper kiss against my lips
Yellow confetti’s strung around my hips like a choker:
A forgotten afternoon or purposefully left-behind heirloom
It’s the name of a Coldplay song
The first time I heard “Yellow” in Chinese, I played it on repeat
I wanted to dance, but - by then - I’d stopped tapping my feet
It’s not the stars that make the night sky complete
Yellow is the soft, incandescent flicker of light bulbs and neon signs
They light up Chinatown at 11PM while store owners sigh
Mud-stained streets
Beneath them: dark, dirty feet
Yellow is liminal space and not being seen
It’s knowing you’ll never be clean
Yellow is feeling small and not having space
Yellow is not feeling safe
Yellow is heartache and drowning in ocean waves
It’s shaking when you hear a gunshot and wondering what will be left in your wake
Asian Girl, will you leave behind memories? Or just dreamscapes and a splash of paint?
Yellow is loving the color inside of you
It’s also wishing you could trade the paint buckets for something more plain
It’s unimaginable pain when I turn on the news
But yellow is also a celebration
It’s Dragon festival lanterns - their flames a technicolor exaltation
Fireworks spark through the night like an exhalation
Inhale. Exhale. Sunlight filtered through the leaves like Gold and Aromatherapy
That Tuesday, but I can breathe, so I’ll be grateful today
Yellow is quiet circulation
Yellow is not the plastic, white stars on my bedroom ceiling
Yellow is an entire constellation
It’s Artemis chasing Orion in a never-ending loop
Something akin to the tune of ouroboros that I would like to dance to
Yellow is a
Visible
Painful
Beautiful
Reminder
That I am not small
I am not nothing, but an infinitude of thoughts, feelings, and experiences
That cannot be defined
Bathed in yellow - as I have always been and always will be
I am in love with my life.
- Amber Ting
Cover Photo Source: https://www.wabe.org/vox-atl-teen-looks-at-colorism-outdated-beauty-standards-in-asian-community/
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