i remember
green-backed tiles
clacking onto our water-stained table
the feeling of
glossy plastic sliding under my fingers
yawns stifled
in the pursuit of victory
i remember
playing mahjong
‘til the birds stopped chirping
‘til my eyes fogged over
‘til my world become
our rickety table
the clatter of tiles
a game
of taking and giving
i never learned how to read the characters correctly
north, east, south, west
were unfamiliar to my weary eyes
my mouth stumbled
over unfamiliar sounds
as i called out my victories
in a language
that i had lost and found
forgot and remembered
blamed and forgiven
mahjong was home
that i know
was my path back to my heritage
was my airplane ticket
to a family i rarely saw
mahjong was a language
that could never be replaced
here’s another thing i know
not a day goes by
that i don’t think of rebranding myself
but i can’t
you see?
because i am so firmly stuck in this skin of mine
and when i look in the mirror
i see generations of women who have been in this skin too
who have tossed plastic tiles onto their tables
who have feared, loved, hated, and fought
to find themselves in their skin
i see a legacy
that can never be rebanded
- Kaitlyn Fa
Cover Photo Source: https://www.cbc.ca/life/culture/the-beginner-s-guide-to-the-greatest-pastimes-mahjong-1.4739808
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